Happy Easter Day!

Jesus conquered death and gave us life and hope and victory and peace...this song is so powerful!!

In Christ Alone

Words and Music by Keith Getty and Stuart Townsend

In Christ alone my hope is found;

He is my light, my strength, my song;

This cornerstone, this solid ground,

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm.

What heights of love, what depths of peace,

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease!

My comforter, my all in all--

Here in the love of Christ I stand.

In Christ alone, Who took on flesh,

Fullness of God in helpless babe!

This gift of love and righteousness,

Scorned by the ones He came to save.

Till on that cross as Jesus died,

The wrath of God was satisfied;

For ev'ry sin on Him was laid--

Here in the death of Christ I live.

There in the ground His body lay, 

Light of the world by darkness slain;

Then bursting forth in glorious day,

Up from the grave He rose again!

And as He stands in victory,

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me;

For I am His and He is mine--

Bought with the precious blood of Christ.

No guilt in life, no fear in death--

This is the pow'r of Christ in me;

From life's first cry to final breath,

Jesus commands my destiny.

No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man, 

Can ever pluck me from His hand;

Till He returns or calls me home--

Here in the pow'r of Christ I'll stand.

Little Mr. Fixit Jr.

lil snow man

questions...

I've been really struggling this week...a new friend of mine is in treatment and awaiting the safe arrival of her little one and is fighting so many side effects of the medicine and the obvious strain in her family life...my heart is just broken for her...

There's so many parts of our story that seem almost unfairly easier than the average...I remember having someone tell me that a cousin had taken the same chemo I did and she was in the hospital for a few weeks because it made her so sick. At the time I thanked the Lord for His mercy and marveled at how "well" I felt, comparitively...

There's a part of me that thinks if it was a friend of mine, I might tell her something like this: "Now you have been through a lot, and its a little ridiculous for you to be feeling guilty about parts of this being a little easier for you than for others you've heard about...the Lord has His reasons and you KNOW He is more than Gracious to all, even when its hard to see at the time...and there's a thousand mercies each day that we continue on, oblivious to the terrible things that "might have been"...you had some unique things in your situation with marital difficulties and two young daughters to care for, and the Lord happened to spare you from things like sores in your mouth making it nearly impossible for you to eat, on top of extreme nausea, on top of weakness and fatigue to the point you could barely make it off the couch and family members semi-paralyzed with depression...its okay for you to be grateful and have peace with it!"

But I REALLY don't feel okay about it sometimes...

I read the book "The Shack" a couple days ago and its gotten me thinking about so many things and how this all works that He allows things and works things for His purposes for our good, all out of His great love for us(FANTASTIC book, by the way!)...for some reason, maybe some sort of martyr-complex, I find that perspective easier to hold onto with my own pains, than with my own blessings or with the pains of those around me...why is that???

I just wish I lived a little closer to this friend, that if nothing else I could cry with her, make her some kind of fruity shake, fold her laundry, and plan a birthday party for her son...

You wouldn't believe how much the (seemingly) smallest kindness can mean to someone who is hurting...(thanks again dear friends!)  I know it's hard for some people...maybe you don't know how to reach out, what to say, ...maybe you're terrified of saying something stupid(and people do end up saying some rather idiotic things at times) but what if just admitting that up front, apologetically offering something, because you CARE...what if that saves someone that day, and what if you didn't do it simply because you might do the wrong thing, is it really about you? A friend of mine said she's tired of people telling her she looks great, that's okay for her to feel that way, and it was sweet of them to say so...it was great that they said something! When I was bald and getting odd looks at Walmart I wanted so badly to make a tshirt that said something like: "Yes, I'm pregnant(its not a tumor), Yes, I do have cancer, Yes, I'm bald from chemo...Feel free to ask any questions you may have, I'd actually love to talk to you about it...can I tell you about all the AMAZING things that have happened through this?!" ...but that's a lot to put on a tshirt...and I'm sure not everyone feels that way...there were days where I felt so conspicuous and a little weary of the whole cancer thing :) 

But really, what's wrong with just asking people if they're comfortable with you letting them know in some way that you care...we don't do that enough, I know I don't!

Merry Christmas!

What a JOY to celebrate Christmas with this sweet little fella...thinking back to 2 years ago when he was sooo tiny and we celebrated my very FAVORITE Christmas ever! I kept thinking about Mary as she got closer to the time when she gave birth to our Lord. Even though she may not have had any idea that she would have to watch Him die, she must have known there would be things about her son's life that she would need to trust the Father about, even as she had trusted Him with the circumstances of Jesus' conception... There are so many examples of faithful men and women who have trusted the Lord with their children in all kinds of different circumstances...I have been so awed by the things the Lord has done for us and so many others, it inspires me each day when I am tempted to worry with that CRAZY-mother-worry drive that kicked in at some point during my first pregnancy :)  Instead of letting it consume me I can turn to the Good Father Who has proved Himself so many times before and choose to trust...just in a different way than I did when he was so small. Now he's a little leprechaun who climbs and leaps everywhere constantly, falling, throwing, bumping into things...very active little man.

2nd Birthday!

So many times when he was wiggling around inside I would think about what it would be like to see him toddle around, hear his first words, watch him play with his sisters...mostly I thought about what it would be like to have a cup of coffee with my son when he's 21 or so and smile together as I share with him the story, once again, for the hundredth time...how the Lord held him in His hands, his little life, and brought him into being at the perfect time, and shielded him from so many things that might have been...what a miracle! Every child is a miracle and its huge...but this boy and the circumstances of his birth have made me realize how the Lord feels about each life, a pregnancy of any length is not to be taken for granted, life should never be taken for granted, a healthy baby is fragile and delicate and strong and powerful and all are held in His hands, so precious!! And He cares for each of us THAT much...Isaiah is no more or less a miracle than my other children, or you or me...but the circumstances of his birth speak a message...I am humbled to play a role in sharing it here at the start but as he grows I imagine the Lord has this and many more things in store to speak through his life...I'm excited about that cup of coffee we'll share one day, talking about our Lord and His shameless and limitless exhibitions of His Glory! And we have just one of so many stories...how blessed we are!!

A beautiful day...

My sweet husband and a couple other friends had mentioned praying for the results of the mammogram to be negative(in a positive way) and I got to thinking as I went through the motions of getting ready to go to the appointment for my doctor to give me the results, about what if this sends us into another step on this journey...I don't mean to sound overly calm...I was a little bit like a child when they feel uncertain, or their footing is slipping a little and they say "maMA?!" where their voice goes up at the end a little bit...I said "LorD?! What if...and I'm at this appointment by myself and Lord what if I have to call him at work and that would be sad for him, and what if I have to go and be tired again and now I have 3 kids..." and then He took my face in His Hands and said "Laura..." and I thought, "Oh yeah... :)  sorry..."  So then we had a good little time of smiling into the uncertainty and singing together(quietly in the cold little exam room with that little scrap of a gown that offers no warmth) about how He's good. Period. and He knows. and i know i don't. But that I trust Him...and that's just it. It was a BEAUTIFUL time, He was THERE and...I think maybe the enemy might have been a little ticked off, which is good. But what I really care about is that there was no other comfort in those moments together...so often I have reached out to other people, or knowledge, or chocolate...but it was all Him and it was sweet. And that sweetness was not diminished or strengthened by the fact that the mammogram was clear...it was just what it was, and that didn't have much to do with my efforts or great focus or positive attitude or "strong religious faith"...just my Friend.