Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Dependence...

Apart from being tired, not having tons of energy or feeling "gung-ho" to accomplish all we're doing each day I feel good, only minor side effects with the Tamoxifen.  I've had lots of follow up appointments and a few tests and everything's all clear each time.  Isaiah's very healthy, 10 months old and 20 lbs., crawling/climbing/pulling up, he IS very high energy, gung-ho, loves music and his adoring family.
Thank you for your prayers, life gets a little overwhelming sometimes, I get frustrated with feeling tired sometimes, I need His grace is so many ways, all the appointments between me and the kids...but at the same time, I am SO GRATEFUL to have this year behind me, to be with all 3 of my beautiful children, to get to stay home with them, I'm grateful for this dear man I get to walk through life with, I'm grateful for time, even though it speeds past too quickly at times...and He's been teaching me to be grateful for the things that "hold me back"--my energy level, my poor memory--I love watching Him provide for my every need after I've whined to Him about not being able to do some things...I keep forgetting the silliest things, nothing life-threatening so far(thank the Lord), and He reminds me or provides ahead of time...its pretty amazing to watch. I thanked Him for the humility of it, depending on Him in this way, since I've always had a great memory and seemed to have taken some pride in "my" abilities, judging by how frustrated I've been at the loss :) It really is a joy to all through the day ask Him if I've forgotten anything, or where I put something...maybe I sound crazy, you're probably thinking, "Laura... you REMEMBERED it??!!" but I'm just telling you I KNOW He reminds me, my synapses are on vacation, they're not firing like they used to :) its a complicated story but the other day, He actually led me to prepare all these things, and then after I got into the situation and remembered what I was supposed to do, I realized it didn't matter that I hadn't remembered, I had exactly what I needed...it was a beautiful and unexpected gift!
love you all and hope you are well, thanks for caring about our little family!!"
---from an email

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Monday, February 26, 2007

Friday, January 26, 2007

upside down

from an email:
"I started radiation  on monday, its everyday at 4pm, only takes about 15 minutes...it  does end up rearranging our whole day but there's only 5 1/2 more weeks and some friends from church are going to start helping out a couple days a week...

Isaiah was up to 8lb7oz at his appointment the other day, he's doing really well other than he caught this nasty cold we've all got right now, he's sleeping 5-7 hours at night.

I met a girl last week at the surgeon's office who's having her surgery this week, she's only 28 and has breast cancer and 2 small children, we exchanged numbers and she called later, if you could pray for Samantha. I cried on the way home because I overheard her sister say to her, "You can do this, the Lord is going to help you through this...just look at that girl over there with her babies...you can make it too! You're going to be fine!"

Thanks so much for your prayers, we're all pretty short on sleep with everything and I've been snapping at the girls lately, we are really enjoying being a family of 5 in spite of all the craziness and nothing being normal right now..."

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Results, again.

from an email:
"the tests came back negative for cancer!! since the surgery wasn't as involved this time, i've felt pretty good, no pain, just a teensy bit sore, and there weren't as many bandages so i've been able to nurse just fine since the night after the surgery once the anesthesia was out of my system...which i am SO grateful for!  AND isaiah had been a little slow putting the weight on so i'd been supplementing a little and he went from 6lb9oz last Wed to 7lb6 oz yesterday!! i am very happy about that! he has seemed so little to me after the girls both being over 8lbs and both getting chubby so fast ;) and today in the waiting room i met a girl who just got a breast cancer diagnosis today, its always nice to get a chance to share even just a little bit of what the Lord has done for us! hopefully we'll be able to keep in touch a little...
i am so teary these days, every time i introduce isaiah to someone, most of the time i look at his sweet face...i don't know how to thank all of you for the special part you played in encouraging us and lifting him up to our Dear Father in prayer...and all those each of you asked to pray for us...maybe just a tight weepy hug and a gigantic smile when i see you next will have to do...
much, much love!
laura"

Thursday, January 11, 2007

the surgery

"everything went well today...i'm not really in any pain.  i should find out some results on tuesday morning...
thank you so much for all your prayers
laura"

my sweet mother in law took me to the hospital so my husband could get a couple hours of rest and it was sort of funny sitting and chatting about old movies with little isaiah in his carseat in pre-op...some things are so surreal...surgery again, here we reached the climax, isaiah's birth, and he was fine and healthy and now here's the cancer question again...and again, the Lord blankets worried and scared little me with His peace that passes understanding so that i can chat and laugh away the wait, proudly showing off my son to anyone who will pause :) i'm shameless! i really overanalyze things but when i step back and look at myself, i don't recognize the me that is walking along this path, when i look below the surface i see the reality: my big Daddy marching solidly along, carrying me in His arms and sheltering me from the insanity and pain, whispering His comfort and peace in my ear, making it utterly impossible for me to give up, or maybe i gave up long ago :)  its so much easier letting Him take care of things :)

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Another surgery...

from an email:
"hey everyone
isaiah is doing really well and the girls are enthusiastically loving him:)
i had a follow-up appointment with my surgeon yesterday and he didn't like the way the lump on my left side felt(that he had biopsied last year and it came back negative) so he's removing it tomorrow morning...if you could please pray that everything would go well...we are very grateful that jim's mom and brother are here visiting and can help with the kids for the surgery, that even if this is the end of nursing isaiah i did get 3 weeks(initially they had said i wouldn't be able to at all, then the oncologist said he would hold off on the hormone treatment so i could nurse for 4 months), and that even though this means a second surgery with the apparently out of network doctor(we've been trying to work things out with the insurance company who initially told us this doctor was covered) that the Lord provided all along the way and He knows how He'll provide again this time.
please pray also because jim recently was brought onto a project at work that required him to work the night shift, so he has to work tonight and tomorrow night(4p-7a) and probably won't get the chance to sleep much tomorrow with everything going on...
thank you so much for all your prayers
love, laura and family"